POETRY
Exploding Kittens
Rebecca Pinwei Tseng
In one reality, somebody wrote a computer program that solved my pussy.
Turns out she had an ON/OFF button this whole time. It was a shock
to the nation. She just needed a little re-programming, the engineer
who happened to be a man explained. Everyone chuckled
and sent the article to their wives and mothers as they found
a shy and endearing quality to her innocence and desire for bliss.
Turns out technology was the answer to everything, her obstinacy
the root of her own problems. So when the button turned on,
she was ON and when the button turned OFF, she hid away,
dozing to dreams of cotton candy and overripe plums.
I saw this predicament so I reached through the screen
and said, here, come here, and a dark pink paw oozed out
like the long flat tongue of a whale. I placed my fingers over her eyes
and held her each night as she slept. When she finally spoke, I asked
if she had any regrets. She said, that’s just one pussy’s decision
in one reality, and here, let me pour you a cup of tea and why don’t you
tell me about yourself? After that, we hosted many dinner parties
and game nights. Invitation only. We lived a wonderful life.